Dealing with my kids growing up is hitting me hard lately. It is times like these that I wish my kids were more than a year apart in age so that I could have some recovery time in-between these tween / teen years. Im not sure where the last decade has gone, but some how over that decade my babies grew into full fledged young adults.
They are totally independent. While they might not want to, they can cook and clean, sew up holes in their own pants, and do pretty much everything else that I used to do. For the most part they even enjoy their new independence. I find myself trying to prepare snacks for them only to have them just brush me off and get it themselves. Don’t get me wrong, at first it was wonderful to get a break, but now I just want to be needed.
Then of course there is their new personalities. Jayde has become super sassy / girly and wants virtually nothing to do with dolls or toys, she just wants to act like a tween. Ethan has a new love for clothes / shoes and girls (UGH) and has really grown into a rebellious little person. Chandler, well he’s the same helpful guy that he has always been, but now he doesn’t touch toys anymore. Everything is computer this, Minecraft that, iPhone this.
That being said, they also want less and less time with me. Yea, they will play Twister sometimes, or let me paint their toe nails (Jayde) or if Im lucky I will get a snuggle from them while they watch TV, but its happening less and less.
I miss them being little. Looking back, I feel that because I had them at 17, 18, and 20 that I really missed their growing up because I was growing up myself and did not know just how much I should have been taking in every single moment of them being little and innocent. Everyone told me to savor those moments, I thought I did. But what I wouldn’t give just to have a day of the kids being small again.
All I want is for them to need me just a little more.