At some point over the last two weeks I came to a brutal reality, Im a big girl. Again. Im not sure if it was the whole outgrowing my clothes, or the fact that Im constantly uncomfortable, or that I have zero energy {I did figure that was a lot to do with being very sick}. But some where along the way I started eating slightly healthier, and almost instantly started noticing that I had a lot more energy. I couldn’t stand to sit still and just sit {even though my vertigo would have loved me to}.
One afternoon while on a walk with the kids I thought “how cool would it be to have a before and after picture?”. Luckily Chandler was totally okay with taking a picture or two…. or ten. Unfortunately they all looked the same. I remember looking at the pictures thinking, “theres no way Ive gotten that big it must be the sun, or that terrible shadow”. However whenever I looked at myself whenever I got home, I saw the same thing. I quickly found myself falling back on the whole, getting pregnant made me fat. Which would have been sort of okay, except my baby is 8 years old. That isn’t baby fat, its just fat. A product of my own bad habits. Such a shame. This must change!
Okay. Here is where Im going to do the unthinkable and share one of those photos I was talking about. I didn’t even bother editing it, mostly because its best you guys get a real idea what Im talking about, that and I don’t think any amount of editing would help this picture {ha!}.
Oddly enough I love posting pictures, until this one. It makes me slightly sad, and incredibly embarrassed that I let myself get this way.
My goal from this point isn’t to get crazy fit, nope, I want to be healthy and happy. And maybe a few sizes smaller. Ill be realistic this time though, Ill never be a size 0 again, nor do I think I want to. Im sick of being sick and not fully happy. Its not fair to me, or my family.
Right now Im taking baby steps and not eating whenever Im bored, Im choosing healthy options, and Im exercising {even if its just a little for now because of my health}. Baby steps. Already I feel much more motivated. Im also tracking my activity on MyFitnessPal. Add me on there, I could use the support! And if anyone has some wisdom, feel free to share!
